#(( lol this probably is not what you meant so if you need me to rewrite this i will ))

[starlightintheirwake]

Armand said: it was avant-garde. it was french cinema. (daniel)

Yeah, yeah, every weirdo cinephile's got full wood for the New French Extremity thing. Daniel was there, too. He gets it- duh, it's right up Daniel Molloy's alley- but can everybody come off the nose in the air about it?

"I don't know, Armand," Daniel says, and picks up a DVD copy of Lars von Trier's Antichrist from the old box of Daniel's edgelord shit Armand dug up. Willem Dafoe's body double's magnum dong had been the star of the show, he recalls about that one, and not much else, "I think von Trier is just edgy." Gaspar Noe is definitely high on his own farts.

"We need to get you on some John Waters," Daniel decides. Waters has the attitude right. Taste is a terrible thing to have. "Embrace that you're rolling around in trash."

@devourcr

[cup-o-stars]

Relativity Falls Lore Concept- The Oracle and Bill

The Oracle:

I was initially inspired by the Twitter user @SUwu159's depiction of the Oracle in their take on Relativity Falls, and made my own adaptation as I learned about her in canon.

(Assume she can change colors because I couldn't pick what I liked most)

This version of The Oracle isn't malicious per se, and does not desire the same conquest or chaos sought out by Bill. But she likes universes to be organized and quaint (or answers to another high power that demands it), and finds fulfillment in achieving these goals through any means necessary.

The Oracle and Dipper:

(Sorry if this dialogue tastes like a corndog in your mouth. I just needed to write a semi-resolution to Dipper's side of the relationship, ha.)

Getting into the real struggle with the Pines family. Dipper and Mabel don't fight and hold grudges like the Stans (that we've seen of), so my opinion is that they drifted apart in their late teens and twenties, both feeling pressured to be less attached at the hip. My current belief (though I'm very willing to rewrite this section) is that Mabel and Dipper both poured a lot of energy into pretty niche fields, and being very busy meant very short and rare windows to reach out. Both assumed the other was doing bigger and better things and felt self conscious / childish for wanting eachother's company.

I'm still considering Mabel's backstory, since I think she probably hit lower points than Dipper. You know. Starving artist, lol. But Dipper entered into paranormal investigation, pest control, etc. before his ghost + monster catching went far enough for his name to gain some notoriety. Hell, maybe Pacifica's family reached out to him to take care of "rats" that were actually ghosts, cementing his interest in Gravity Falls and giving him a window inter supernatural work.

Dipper was taken on as something of an apprentice to the Oracle 30ish years before canon as word of his good and dangerous deeds spread. However, what was at first a personal dream come true (saving lives with nerd magic) soon became a personal hell as the Oracle began to overwhelm Dipper with knowledge of various futures and universes where everything he cared about could be destroyed. He's always been over prepared and incredibly paranoid, and became obsessed with protecting the world by acting as a partner to the Oracle.

He ends up doing- or not doing- a lot of morally ambiguous things and gaining a lot of enemies. He is too ashamed to face his family- especially Mabel- with what he's done and burden them, giving the Oracle more to use against him to keep him working for her. Basically "you've already done all this and risked it all, there's nowhere to go if you stop now." Eventually this ends in her seeing him fit for her work and convincing him to hide out in and save other universes, which he gets trapped doing for the next three decades.

Little throw away idea: Pacifica could have been an investor or partner, but left as they uncovered secrets about the Northwest family. Maybe she wanted to undo something (debating making any of the Oracle's powers time related just because I hate time travel) or stop a current show of corruption, but Dipper had to stop her for the "greater good."

In the main universe, Mabel goes to Gravity Falls upon news of her brother's disappearance, searching for any loose end to trace back to him.

I love that in canon, Dipper is willing to do anything for Mabel, and Mabel gives it back. Dipper here spends all of his life keeping as many versions of her as safe as he can, and she spends all her life trying go seek him out- maybe even dropping a larger opportunity outside of Gravity Falls for her art and settling on business at the shack. Dipper wants Mabel alive, Mabel wants them both happy. I like the idea that it's Dipper and Mable vs. The Future but the future is a demon, alien thing.

Which leads me to...

Bill Cipher:

I'm actually gonna cover a couple versions of Bill I think are fitting for this AU, because I initially wasn't sure if I wanted him here at all.

Child Bill:

Pretty straight forward. Bill as a baby, child thing is tempting and this is the au where he'd exist. Personally though, I think Ford's friendship with Fidds would be more enriching to his growth, and Bill's personality is so close to Stan's they would likely be competing to fill very similiar roles. (If Bill behaves differenty as kid, I don't know about it.) Honestly, Bill is super similiar to Ford and Stan, and works better as a kind of foil or antagonist because of that (imo). I do find the mental image of Ford carrying Bill around funny. I do not enjoy human bill like, conceptually, so I'm probably never gonna design one as an adult or child, lol.

It would be cool to see a world where Bill didn't accidentally kill his parents though.

Bill - Reincarnated Original

Technically I guess they could all be reincarneted (especially baby Bill), but this version of Bill experienced and holds memories of the original canon events in GF. Beings like Bill and the Oracle can remember recent/soon approaching lives, and catch glimpses of more distant cycles as well.

What I like about Bill's recent role as an antagonist to Ford and Stan is that he constantly describes them in the terms of their worst traits, and sees them through the lens of the roles the world placed on them. In this AU, Bill is the epitome of the past (in this case a past life) coming back to bite the twins. He rattles their progress in communication as well as their sense of inner peace by bringing old Glass Shard Beach issues into Gravity Falls.

(Depicted here-> moments after Ford summons Bill using the same ritual as Gideon.)

The drawback to this is that it feels a lot like covering old ground.

Simply Bill:

This is pretty much just regular old Bill with the same fresh perspective as everyone else, and also the one I'm going with. He tried and failed to get Dipper's trust in the past and had to lay low at the arrival of the Oracle. Once they left, Bill targeted Mabel. I think it could be very interesting for Mabel and Bill to either have a fresh relationship wherein Bill is actively taking advantage of her desperation to find Dipper, or for Bill to be an old betrayal (not romantic, but not dissimilar to the opportunistic exes Stan and Ford have to be wary of and beat back under the rug regardless).

Either he shows himself to Mable early on, or decides that Gravity Falls is both Oracle-free and worth the time after either Ford or Mable summon him. Afterall, 30 years isn't much to him.

Maybe he exists in the background like he's always done, or the kids (being snoopy and disrespectful of Mabel's secrets) discover what Mabel's doing and run into him on their own.

Whether Bill is aware of the original series or not, I think he could be neat to stick in between Stan and Ford again for conflict. My favorite aspect about Relativity Falls is the prospects of the Stans having a larger support system and better tools to help themselves with. Beating Bill faster and better would be the ultimate testament to Mabel and Dipper's skills as functioning role models, even if Mabel is currently blinded by her focus on Dipper.

Stan and Ford will fight and they will make up, but this time maybe they can overcome it on their own.

I also think a good idea is having Ford and Stan's issues be completely Bill free (outside of like an episode or two's worth of relevance, unless he put them into a particularly stinging situation). It would feel fresher and also streamline the plot, lol.

Overview:

- Dipper is stuck travelling the multiverse with the Oracle and keeps himself sane by thinking of Mabel and protecting various versions of her.

- Mabel is investigating his disappearance in Gravity Falls and is working on a portal/portal equivalent with Bill to bring him back.

- The kids may or may not be aware of this.

Looking at the main series of events, I think it'd be neat go back to the apprenticeship conflict, where Ford could be approached by the Oracle (or something else that makes sense) with the promise of being a "hero," but knows better now because of Dipper and his experiences with Bill. It's kind of a more convoluted version of Ford's proposal to Dipper in canon, and they basically learn the same thing, lol. You can hang out with ghosts if you want, but demons are gonna get you. Maybe being a child with siblings is all you need.

(Stan could also be offered this, given the Oracle already knew he- or at least someone with his face- would beat Bill, but I think it's well established he isn't very interested in doing anything without family.)

All in all, things might be a bit crowded with two antagonists. But I do like the concept of Bill's arrival and subsequent chaos triggering Dipper and the Oracle's return to Mabel's dimension. I also love the idea of Bill, the Oracle, and some secret third thing all trying to pull the Pines family apart, and it's like a Man vs. God turned into a Family vs. Destiny thing, idk. Just trying to make it feel bigger.

Thank you for reading all this. It was a lot to draw. Next time I do anything for Relativity Falls, I'm gonna go back to the smaller things like Mabel bonding with the kids and stuff like that.

[fortheloveofexy]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thanks for the tag @mostlymaudlin ! tagging @jingerhead @paradoxolotl @exy-shmexy @storiesnstardust

Top 5 (by Kudos):

1. Call Me By Your Name (3.9k, andreil)  

Basically, Neil calls Andrew “baby” in his sleep once, so Andrew  gets flustered and then secretly tries out different pet names for Neil.

This one... honestly really surprised me with how popular it got. It’s my most kudos’d fic by a long shot (2,378 kudos??? insanity). It’s a short little thing, entirely focused around andreil and pet names. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this one being the top fic, because it’s one of my oldest fics and I don’t really love the prose now. I don’t really understand why it got so popular out of everything I wrote bc it’s never anyone’s favorite fic when I ask, but I’m glad so many enjoyed it!

2. Sweet Enough To Eat (3.1k, andreil) 

Andrew experiencing cute aggression. That’s basically the whole premise lol.

 Anyway, this one is my oldest fic, so I assume that’s why it’s so popular. It’s cute, sweet even! I still like it to this day. Not much else to say about it though.

3. May We Meet Again (10.7k, andreil)

The first installment of the Artist Neil AU. 

To be honest, I don’t like it anymore. That whole AU has problems with pacing, and some characterization issues too. Plus, looking back at the art now makes me cringe so hard. The only reason it’s still up is bc I know a lot of people really like it. Sometimes I think about revising the whole thing but I still remember how big of an undertaking it was when I first wrote it and made all the art for it, so I probably won’t. 

4. The Marks We Make (41.3k, andreil)

A (mostly) canon rewrite from Andrew’s POV with a soulmate AU twist. 

This the first multichapter fic I ever wrote, and one of the earliest fics I ever published, so I’m not surprised it’s high on the list. There are some things I like about this one, and some I would do differently. Writing this fic helped me make some of my first friends in the fandom though, so it was very much worth it.

5. Yes Or No? (35.5k, andreil)

sub andrew & Dom Neil pwp - need I say more?. 

This one truly surprised me. It was meant to be a one-shot experiment, something I wrote as an exploration of my own boundaries and limits. BDSM fics are often triggering for me, so I generally avoid them, but I wanted to write a BDSM fic that I would be able to enjoy and to explore BDSM from a safe distance.

However, given how much the fandom seemed to be against Andrew submitting (and sometimes even just bottoming) at the time, I worried I might end up getting hate for writing it. To my surprise, I did not, and so many commenters asked that I continue it that I ended up turning it into a whole series. 

I’m quite proud of it still - it might just be a smut fic to most people, but it will always be more than just a smut fic to me. 

I do hate the last 3 paragraphs of the main fic though. I was on a kick where I thought incorporating references to fic titles and canon lines into my writing was clever and fun, but now I just cringe when I look at it. Ahh well, maybe someday I’ll change it and tell nobody. Create a little Berenstein/Berenstain Bears moment :)

Top 5 (Personal Ranking):

1.  More Than Words (32.9k, ongoing, neon friendship)

Neil and Aaron meet as kids and become best friends, long before Aaron learns his mother’s secret - he has a long lost twin brother.

I cannot gush enough about the love I have for this fic, this whole story. I can’t talk about it here because I have some insane twists planned (iykyk) but just know this fic is my baby and this story will be my magnum opus once it’s done. I love writing Neil and Aaron’s friendship, I love writing Aaron’s POV, I love the plans I have these boys. It’s still ongoing so I understand why it’s not higher up in the kudos ranking, but I’m hopeful that will change once I actually finish it.

2. A Quiet Self-Destruction (2.6k, andreil)

A character study on Andrew’s experience with depression, and how Neil helps him through his bad days.

I wrote this to comfort myself during one of my own depression spells. It still brings me a bit of hope on dark days. For that, I will always love it.

3. Scribbles and Sticky Notes (11.7k, andreil)

Neil retires from Exy, with heaps of fluff, soft Andreil, wholesome Twinyards, hurt/comfort, MCD and angst.

Hands down, this is the saddest fic I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of that fact. I think the pacing is really good, and the gut punches are quite successful (while being foreshadowed quite nicely). The characterization is also spot on, I think. It’s got MCD though, which I think is probably why it’s not more popular. 

4. The Past, Stained Red (4.4k, andreil)

Part 3 of the Artist Neil AU. Andrew has a surprise run-in with a ghost from his past, and finally gets some closure.

This is the only fic of the Artist Neil AU that I actually still like. It’s well-paced, well-characterized, and I still like the art. Mostly, though, I viciously loved writing Andrew getting to close the door on Cass, and I loved writing him acknowledging the harm she did to him as a foster parent. He couldn’t see it as a child, but as an adult? He sees her clearly, in all her failure. It was extremely cathartic to write that. 

5. Catdrew Meowyard (1.4k, andreil)

Andrew suddenly has cat ears and a tail. Nobody questions it. Shenanigans ensue.

This is such a silly little fic. I wrote it as a joke and I still love it dearly, even though it’s very dumb. It’s just very fun to write and to read, and it’s perfect for when I want to blow off steam and write some crack.

[pepperf]

Sending this ask to a few tua accounts!

Diegolila is probably my favorite ship in the show, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What would you change about their relationship in season 4? Obviously they're not in the honeymoon phase anymore, and they have three kids, so I feel like naturally they would go through a rough patch. But what made me sad in season 4 was that none of it got fixed. The five/lila relationship aside, it was weird to see Lila be just completely disconnected from Diego and not come to any realizations about her relationship with him, especially because she IS a deep character and she really does love him. Plus, I don't completely agree with her being a housewife either. It hurts to see them fight and stuff because I feel like they're 2 characters who are really in sync with each other and who make each other better people, but it hurt a lot more when their arcs ended in them basically not really loving each other anymore.

TLDR how would you rewrite their relationship in season 4? Would Lila still be a housewife/Diego a delivery driver? Who would try to fix the relationship first? Why would the relationship go through the rough patch in the first place? Is it because they're both just tired of each other/suburban life/kids? Or is it something else? Would they try to fix it in the first place?

Sorry this is a really long ask, but I love all your tua takes and I feel like they ripped off Diego and Lila in the worst way this season. Would love to know your thoughts.

Extremely belated reply to this, because @lochrannn answered it so well and I couldn't think of what else to add at the time - but I've been thinking about this recently, and now I do have some thoughts!

Honestly, I'd like to rewind the show back a bit further, to the start of s3. I wouldn't have had the pregnancy plot for Lila, I am not a fan. Love it in fanfic! Have written it myself! Came around to it for those two because they were just that chaotic! But as a canon plot, I think it both limited them, and also cemented their relationship too soon. I wanted them to have a lot more uncertainty for longer, more back and forth. I would have had Lila gone for longer - Diego hadn't even changed his clothes by the time she came back! He needed more time to fret/pine/let all those stupid emotions come to a nice simmer, and then Lila returns (her time apart from him was excellent, on the other hand, no notes). Then - conflict, sex, reconciliation, surprises, reconciliation v2, etc.

And then in s4, I would still have had the time jump, for practical (Aiden) reasons, and still have had the D/L kids - but giving them a little while to just live their lives together, child-free. And I would have kept the fact that their first kid was totally unexpected, lol. And all of that could happen off-camera, it doesn't need to be filmed, just there as backstory. Then I would have started s4 in a sort of similar position, in that they would be having some problems (these two are MEANT for conflict lbr), but they would both be sneaking out to do vigilante/spy type stuff. I'm neutral on whether they both have shitty jobs, but I wouldn't have Lila as a full-time stay-at-home mum. And then, plot stuff happens, and they learn lessons, and reconcile by the end of the season - although preferably in a more interesting way than just "talking to some guy" or "being stuck somewhere", something more in keeping with their chaotic natures and weird priorities. And they would adore their kids, this wouldn't even be a question.

Anyhow, that's my take. I don't think it needs to majorly alter the overall story (although I also hate the ending - but that's a separate issue!), but they could've done so much more exciting and unexpected stuff with those two characters, and the actors were wasted on the duff material they were given in s4 especially.

Thank you for the question!

[ryusuisloveinterest]

Can you write a head-canon where Stanley Snyder and y/n go on a mission, and y/n has a panic attack, so Stanley has to calm her down. one-shot that shows how different characters from Dr stone would react to y/n having a panic attack. Lol thanks!!! 😁

hello beautiful! Ngl I kinda got confused on what you wanted me to write so I wrote a scenario on Stanley helping you through a panic attack so I hope that works lol. If you want other characters or you want me to rewrite it please send another request. Thank you for your patience and hope you enjoy!💖

Stanley helping you with a panic attack 💕

Taken before Kingdom of Science came to America 

There were a couple of people who were trying to rebel against Xeno, so you and Stanley were sent to deal with them. The two of you have been having trouble with your relationship lately, between him constantly working with Xeno and barely paying attention to you to the differences in views between you two. As you walked together there was an awkward silence only you seemed to mind. “What are we gonna do when we find the rebels?” You ask even though you know the answer. “Kill them probably.” You look down, disappointed and disgusted. As if he could sense your change in mood, Stanley says, “Maybe would could just take some captive…” You sigh. At least he’s trying to be better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You both approach the rebel camp. You look around and see so many familiar faces. The woman who helped you sew the outfits for everyone. The man who dreamed of being one of the best guitarist there ever was. Even the old lady who would do her best to remember her old baking recipes from the past. Your memories sink in. You really don’t want to do this. “Keep your guard up. I taught them basic self defense so they should be a decent fight.” You can’t respond to that. These are people you know and some you can even call friends. You can’t fight them! You won’t! Your heart begins to race. You start to sweat. You lean against a tree for support. You can’t catch your breath. Damnit why is this happening now!? You can’t breathe. Try to think how can you control your breathing? “(Y/n)?” Why is Stanley spinning? You thought he was attacking. Should you be attacking? Come on- “(y/n)!” Stanley rushes over to you. With his shout the rebels scatter away. “(Y/n) speak to me what’s wrong?” “Pa-i can’t- Sta- tack-“ He takes one of your hands and places it on his chest. “Do you feel my breath? Try to follow its rhythm.” He inhales then exhales at a calm pace. He does it again and again and again. Over a few minutes, you start to breathe normally again. The world isn’t spinning anymore, all you focus on now is the man you love. “Wait…Stanley I’m sorry I didn’t mean to let them get aw-“ “Why didn’t you tell me?” You have him a confused look. “Tell you what?” He tries to calm himself before he speaks, not wanting to upset you. “Your attacks. Why didn’t you ever tell me about your attacks?” You look away from him, not able to handle his anger and disappointment. You didn’t know why to be honest. You and Stanley have shared everything together. “I…because… I just feel like I couldn’t…” Now this is shocking news to him. You thought he would be offended or even angry, but the look in his eyes only showed guilt. Has he really made you feel so alone? He cups your face and makes you look at him. “(Y/n), I…I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you can’t talk to me. I’m always here for you! I- what can I do? How can i make you trust me again?” His reaction really shocked you. You’ve never seen Stanley cry yet you’re watching him tear up. You’ve never seen him struggle yet he looks so desperate right now. “Please (y/n), whatever you need to get off your chest please tell me…” With a deep breath you tell him everything; how you feel like he doesn’t see you, the way he is able to strike down anyone without blinking an eye, even how you miss him holding you in his arms while you both fall to sleep. He’s quiet for a moment, then he kisses you on the forehead. “Thank you for telling me this, I’ll be better I promise. You’re my number one (y/n) always remember that.” He helps you off the ground and gestures for you to hold his arm. When you take it you feel like you did when you first met him, connected. “I love you Stanley…” you mutter under your breath. “And I love you more.”

[creampuffqueen]

I saw that post you reblogged about being open to followers asking about your fanfics, so I'm going to take you up on that. I wanted to ask if you have a favorite among the works you did for the Yangvik Week, but maybe that would be too unfair. So my question is: can you tell us what you, the author, like about each of those works specifically, or if you have a favorite line from them? (Bonus: was there a challenging part?) It's always so interesting to hear a writer be meta about their process! Thank you 🩵

Ahhh thank you so much for asking!!! You’re right, choosing a favorite would be very difficult and would probably end in like. A 3 or 4 way tie lol. But i would absolutely love to share my thoughts on my fics and some of the behind-the-scenes things about writing them!!

Gonna go ahead and put this under a cut because i have zero doubt it will get very long haha. Read on for even more yangvik ramblings :) 

Cover Story: 

The part about this fic that was the most fun to write and the part that was the most difficult to write happened to be the same thing - figuring out their secret mission. I truly have to give my props to f.c yee here; writing spy missions is not as easy at it seems! I had to figure out a realistic way to get Yangchen and Kavik alone in a room together, AND in a situation where their only way out was to kiss, without it feeling too contrived. Which meant I was having to think of backups for my backups. A lot of “okay, here’s a way they could get out - how can I make that way impossible?” I truly am quite proud of how it all turned out in the end!

Another favorite part was undoubtedly writing Kavik being absolutely head over heels the entire time. It was the first time I’d written from his perspective, and his head is quite fun to be in. His pining definitely created a few of my favorite lines from this one, such as “In this room full of beautiful things, she’s still the most captivating.” Or “The glow from the fire makes her gray eyes look like molten pools of silver. For a moment, Kavik nearly forgets where he is.”

Also, this entire interaction: ““I think we’re a bit past caring about how I feel about a plan; tell me what it is.”

“You need to kiss me.”

“What?!””

I made myself absolutely cackle with delight when I wrote it. It was so fun.

And then I’ve already shared in another post how I ended up entirely rewriting the entire kiss scene. It just wasn’t hitting in the way I wanted, and I’m much, much happier with how it turned out when I wrote it the second time.

I’ve also particularly enjoyed seeing peoples’ interpretations of this one! Some people think that Yangchen is totally oblivious to how hard Kavik is crushing, while others think she totally knows but is pretending not to. I won’t give an answer as to which is correct, because I think it adds a lot more to be ambiguous enough that it could go either way!

i can’t read your mind (though i’m trying all the time):

Little warning here because this fic is nsfw, so if you’re not comfortable with that topic of discussion feel free to hop ahead to the next section!

I think of all the fics i wrote for yangvik week, this one was the most challenging. I came up with the premise for this fic (yangvik bathtub sex) well before yangvik week, but planning out my fics for the event gave me the motivation to actually Write It. But even after decided I wanted to write it, I spent a lot of time waffling around with it, not totally sure how I wanted to take it. Add in at the time I was really struggling with my self confidence as a writer, and that led to me just being generally unhappy with the whole thing. 

What ended up happening was that I put it on the back burner for a bit, wrote some of my other fics for the event, and then came back to it. Having finished some other fics gave me the little boost I needed to push past the corner I’d stuck myself in (what felt like at the time endless dialogue) and finally write the whole thing. 

Random side tangent: i did not write my yangvik week fics in order lol. It ended up being Day 1-4-2-3-5-6

Anyway. Favorite bits? Quite a few haha

“Yangchen’s eyes don’t leave his, stormy gray meeting ocean blue. Kavik would drown in them if she’d let him.” <- I posted this one as a snippet but I still just love it so much. They’re so utterly whipped for each other it’s crazy.

““Kavik, I’m tired,” Yangchen breathes.

His lips still. “Do you want me to stop?”

A pause. Then, slowly, she drags their joined hands upwards until one of his palms is cupping her breast, showing him where she wants to be touched.

“No. Don’t stop.””

^ I had been planning out this specific bit pretty much since I got the idea for this fic. So I’d been hanging onto this for a few months. Finally getting to write it down was so incredibly satisfying. I HAVE to write my scenes in chronological order. Sometimes if I have ideas for single lines or specific words I want to use I’ll write them down just so I remember, but if it’s an entire exchange like this I force myself to wait for it.

I originally intended to write this fic going at an even slower pace, which looking back now is kinda crazy haha. It’s already got quite a slow buildup. But when I was writing I came to the conclusion that things needed to heat up at least a little bit, hence all the heavy making out that happens. 

“Seated above him, Yangchen has to look downwards in order to connect their gazes. A queen sitting on her throne.” <- I was very proud of this line and the imagery it evokes, and I was very glad to hear that others felt the same! I had several people point out just how much they liked this part, and it’s always very gratifying as a writer to hear that a scene created the feelings you were going for.

The premise of this fic is basically Yangchen going “I want that man on his knees and whimpering” and Kavik going “yes ma’am”

Another random fun fact: it’s a blink and you’ll miss it kinda mention, but the thing that brings them both over the edge during this is making eye contact with each other ;) 

And last but not least, I find it very funny that this fic is the most popular of my yangvik week fics, at least according to the stats on ao3. It has by far the most comments, kudos, and hits. By a long shot. 

Oh my god, you guys are so horny!!! (says the horny bitch who wrote the fic)

Anywayyyyyyy

i’m glad i get forever to see where you went:

So, although this fic was certainly the one with the darkest topic, I think I enjoyed writing it the most. It was an extremely cathartic write, and while I was writing it the words just seemed to flow nonstop. The whole fic came so easily to me, and with very little prior planning. Part of it might be that it was a very different writing style than what I usually use, with it being a more broad overview of an ongoing situation rather than one specific point in time. I really enjoy fics written in that style, and I was very excited to finally create one of my own!

Now for some random notes about the content of the fic itself. I don’t think I mentioned this in the end notes of the fic itself, but there is a reason that Yangchen and Kavik are living near the Eastern temple rather than the Western. In some random, older A:TLA media, it was said that Yangchen retired to the Eastern Air Temple, and she spent her last few years living in a hermitage near the temple. I suppose that narratively it makes more sense for her to live in the west, but I decided to go with it to sort of keep it ‘canon compliant’. I wonder if that will ever get retconned now that we have more content about Yangchen.

But I digress. A part I really enjoyed about this fic was being able to intersperse all the heavy moments with little tidbits that show just how much these two love each other. Even aside from the big, grand, devotion that they show, I also liked showing that they still flirt, they still banter, they still cuddle and watch the sunset together. Just casual moments of a long-time love. 

“Life continues on, though. The endless wheel of time won’t stop turning, even for the most powerful being in the world.” <- Very proud of this line. It just came to me right in the moment and it felt so perfect. 

“Perhaps a part of him is just hoping they’ll adjust. She’s still Yangchen, whip-smart and compassionate and always ready with a quick remark. She’s still every bit the woman he fell in love with, just a bit more forgetful these days. They’ll get through it, surely.” <- Again, very proud of this part. It accomplished several things I wanted to convey: showing the passage of time, as this isn’t something that just happens overnight. It’s a slow, progressive thing. Also adding in some more slightly positive views of Yangchen, as I’d just put her through a whole lot in the previous scenes and felt I needed to add a reminder that despite it all, she’s still Yangchen. And lastly, also adding in Kavik’s sense of desperation that things get better. Or, at least, that things don’t get any worse.

“He loves her, though. The world is always changing, and nothing is ever constant. The deepest truth that he knows in his life is this: He loves Yangchen with everything he has, for everything she is.

He loves her. He squeezes her hand while she sleeps, finally at peace for a change, and hopes that it’s enough.”

^ Yet another part I love. I just really loved my writing in this whole fic. I don’t really have much to add but I just had to put it here because I love it so so much.

Now, for the final scene. I was considering having this not be the last scene. I was going to make it worse. I had a few ideas, all incredibly angsty. Something like Yangchen getting hurt (working ideas were her leaving the fire on and forgetting about it or getting into a situation where she needed to bend a certain element but forgetting she could bend it) or her actually forgetting Kavik’s name for little bit. But in the end it didn’t feel right for the direction I wanted to take this. I wasn’t writing angst for angst’s sake. I didn’t want to end the fic on such a bitter note, on a feeling that all was lost for good. There needed to be some hope still left. Which is why I ended up going the direction I did with it. 

I was veryyyyyy proud of myself for the total genius moment I had in the final scene. Namely, Yangchen starting to return to herself when Kavik hands her the glider. It’s very subtle because in these kind of situations, it’s not like the person comes back to the present all at once. It’s very gradual. But, if you read closely, Yangchen begins to calm down when she gets the glider. Both because it’s something familiar and personal, and because it’s meant to mirror the scene in Legacy where Kavik originally hands her back her glider. Now, in order for this to happen, I had to backtrack very far to get this moment. Like; okay, Kavik hands Yangchen the staff and it helps. Why does he bring the staff with him? Oh, what if he’s using it as a cane! But wait, I never wrote him as needing a cane in previous scenes. Ah, he gets out of bed too fast and pinches a nerve in his back! (sorry Kavik).

And last but not least, the final scene, where Yangchen finally admits out loud how scared she is and she and Kavik both cry, probably has to be my favorite scene of this entire fic. Possibly one of my favorite scenes that I’ve ever written. It was so incredibly cathartic to write. I’m being completely truthful when I say I teared up while writing it. Yes, it was incredibly devastating, but very beautiful in its own way. It was just the culmination and release of all the heartbreak earlier in the fic, and gave way to the wonderful moment of Kavik promising to always be there for her, whether she remembers him or not, which is everything she needs to hear in that moment. I just really love it.

Breakfast and a Braid:

This one was pretty short and sweet so there isn’t a whole lot to say about it writing wise haha. I think the biggest challenge was getting them to the point where Kavik could talk about what he was doing while braiding her hair without the situation feeling too forced or awkward. I think I ended up doing okay, though!

Also while writing this and looking through the fic I realized that I mentioned the gong of Jonduri… the gong is in Taku. *facepalm* I’m gonna have to go fix that at some point. Whoops. 

When Yangchen says that she doesn’t remember breakfast being delivered, it’s meant to imply that she was sleeptalking again, the way she did to Boma at the beginning of Legacy. And I’m not sure why but I enjoy the way I wrote her waking up at the start of the fic. I think it’s just some funny imagery, of her startling awake and throwing her papers everywhere.

Another thing about the writing process of this one is that the part that goes “Tangles removed, Kavik draws his hands smoothly through her thick tresses. Yangchen nearly arches into his hand, like a cat-goose getting its back scratched. If she could purr she’d probably be doing it.” actually had a duplicate paragraph written a few paragraphs before it. I’m very glad I read through this one again, because that would have been awkward lol. I ended up liking the second use of it more, so I rewrote the paragraph earlier in the fic so I could keep it in this spot. Still not totally sure how I basically managed to copy an entire paragraph without realizing it!

“Still, she can’t resist reaching behind her to grab at his collar, dragging Kavik towards her for a proper kiss. He puts up no resistance, grinning softly as Yangchen presses their lips together.” <- and of course, writing kisses is one of my favorite things, so it’s no surprise that it’s one of my favorite lines in this fic :) 

Something Nice:

Not entirely sure why, but of the 6 fics that i posted for yangvik week, this is probably my least favorite 😭😭. Again, no idea why. Like i can’t even pinpoint what i don’t like about it, but whenever i compare it to the others i wrote i just feel. Kinda ‘eh’ about it.

I am however still patting myself on the back for the bit about the wool on the kuspuk being from Nujian’s older sister. I very clearly remember having this complete enigma while planning it out and being like ‘YES ITS PERFECT IM A GENIUS!!!’. So that’s definitely a positive.

Other positives include writing some team Yangchen shenanigans. I really love Yangchen’s team avatar in the books, and so whenever i can i try and include them in my writing, even if it’s just a little mention. But being able to include full on conversations in this fic was very fun.

Although I don’t feel completely satisfied with how this fic turned out (again, for reasons I’m honestly not quite sure of) I do still have a favorite line. That being “Even after she calms, a small part of her wants to stay there forever, held in the little bubble of Kavik’s embrace, safe from the needs of the world.”. I just loved showing how safe Yangchen feels when she’s with Kavik, and how she can just be herself around him. 

The other part i really enjoyed writing with this one was the PINING. Oh the pining. It’s always so delicious. And then the moment at the end where Jujinta interrupts them hehe. I’m definitely a sucker for the ‘moment interrupted’ trope… which i’m now realizing might be a bit obvious considering my other works… oh… oh dear…

darlin’, oh, you see i’ve never felt this way before:

Almost all of my writing is very ‘flying by the seat of my pants’ style as I very rarely go into anything with a concrete plan, but this one was EXTRA off the top of my head. I had a vague idea and a vibe to go off of when I started writing, and I’m pretty pleased with the results!

A few highlights of writing this include: contriving ways to get Kavik shirtless, letting the air nomads be the thirsty mouthpiece of the fandom, and pretending I’m back in middle school and turning absolutely everything into a ‘that’s what she said’ joke

I included this fun fact in the notes on the ao3 version but if you only read it on tumblr you might have missed it! When Kavik is playing the string game with the kids and he makes a shape called ‘the polecat-wolverine’ it is for multiple reasons. 1. ‘The wolverine’ is an actual shape that can be made during the real life string game that Inuit and other Indigenous groups play, and 2. The name ‘Kavik’ means wolverine! He was showing the kiddos how to make his name :) 

I also loved getting to include some more air nomad culture in my writing. The ‘holy day’ they are celebrating is completely made up, but loosely inspired by the Thai Buddhist festival of Songkran. As well, the nature of many of the conversations in this fic led me to basically do a deep dive into how i think the 4 nations view sex, desire, sexuality, etc. Which then led me to retroactively go in to throw in some demisexual Yangchen vibes, which is my personal headcanon of her sexuality.

I think the biggest challenges in writing this fic were, first of all, having little more than a vibe as my concept, and then also figuring out how to spin the ‘jealousy’ prompt into a way that I liked. I very much wanted to stay away from the usual interpretation of jealousy, as I simply don’t think it fits Yangchen and Kavik’s relationship with each other. So I did my best to show that Yangchen isn’t jealous of the other nuns because they’re ‘trying to steal her man’ or that she’s jealous and thinks Kavik will like another girl more than her or anything like that. She’s jealous because she already has to share so much of herself with the world, and doesn’t want to share what she has with Kavik as well. She isn’t at all threatened by other women appreciating his good looks, but she gets very bothered when the conversation starts veering towards more personal things about him. Hence why she stops the teenagers’ conversation when one of them mentions his ‘dreamy eyes’ when the other two had previously been saying far more suggestive things.   

Yet another challenging part of this write was when I decided I wanted to go down the love confession route. I wanted to make it clear that it WAS a love declaration, but without an ‘I love you’. Again, I feel very strongly that Yangchen and Kavik never fully define their relationship. It just… is. So it was a fun challenge to try and write something akin to a confession/declaration without going the typical route. I did consider having them say the Big L Word, but I couldn’t manage to fit it in where I mentioned it was the first time they said it, but at the same time didn’t make it this super huge deal. Of course they already know they love each other; they don’t need to be waxing poetic about it to make it clear, though. I’m pretty happy with what I managed instead!

There are so many standout lines in this one that i adore, but I think most of them come from the final part. I love a good ‘sleepy pillow talk in the morning after’ kind of vibe (in fact, I’ve been considering adding a part 2 to ‘the push' set the morning after) so it was lovely to get to include one here.

I’m very especially proud of the imagery right here: “Yangchen wakes up in shades, consciousness seeping into her bones with each exhale of breath. The pre-dawn light creeps through her window, casting the room in a soft, dreamlike haze.”

And again with this one: “He stretches, long and languid, yawning so widely that Yangchen can hear his jaw pop. His fingers tangle with those already on his cheek, bringing her hand to his mouth so he can begin to kiss his way up her arm, tracing the pattern of her tattoos.” (non-lip kisses my ABSOLUTE BELOVED).

“Rather than fall further into her trap, Kavik shuts her up by tackling her into the bed, making her shriek with laughter when his hands dig into her sides to tickle her mercilessly.” <- I really loved how I portrayed Yangchen in this whole part. She deserves to just let loose and be silly!!!!

“Avatar Yangchen belongs to the world before anything else. Yangchen will always be the Avatar; even in death her spirit will remain to continue the cycle. She holds the world’s biggest blessing and its heaviest burden. It will always have a claim over her.

But right here, her world is just this: the blue of Kavik’s eyes, the safety of his arms, and the love that she can feel pouring out of his very being.”

^ Made myself almost cry with the duality of it all. He’s literally her safe space. I’m never gonna feel normal about them.

This ended up getting… so long lol. If you stayed til the end, thank you very much! I hope you enjoyed getting some insight into my writing thoughts and parts I enjoyed about creating my fics! And again, thank you so much for the ask!!!

[rascalentertainments]

Okay first of all I’d like to apologize for not sending this in sooner, because I went to finally clear all the tabs from my computer and realized I??? Didn’t press the “ask” button to actually submit these questions??? But here they are, late but I hope they still work!

(If you’ve answered some of these before, feel free to skip them)

What were the symptoms of Asha’s father’s death?

Was Sakina pessimistic after her husband’s death as well?

Will Asha’s wish be turned into a wish orb?

Asha is 18 in this rewrite, so if she stayed in Rosas, would she give up her wish?

Did Sakina give up her wish? Or did she refuse?

What about Sabino?

Does Valentino have a separate design, or are you sticking with the concept art you showed?

What wish gets destroyed for Star to realize that Rosas is actually kind of fucked up?

Are you changing around the order of any songs?

How old are the seven teens in this rewrite?

How is Star’s stand-off with Amaya different than one with Magnifico?

Who taught Amaya magic?

They created wish magic, you say? Do they know that taking a wish robs people of their drive?

When did Amaya adopt Sabor?

Would Sabor ever warm up to Magnifico?

If the traitor isn’t who we think it is, then it’s probably not Simon. Can you give us any clues?

Sneak peak!

No Star before has ever changed into a human before? Why is Star the first?

How old is Star if he hasn’t got a name for himself yet?

Are you adding anyone new other than Flazino?

Bazeema x Safi, you say? Are you thinking of any other ships?

Will you be making a poster for Wish Granted?

How are you showing the songs in your rewrite?

Is anyone dying in your rewrite?

Would you consider this more of a rewrite or an AU? Like, could this be a Disney movie, or more of taking the concepts and turning it into your own thing?

Hope you enjoy!

OH MY GOD, THERE'S SO MANY QUESTIONS, SAPH! 😂 Let's get started!

Similar to Simon, he started to feel more lethargic as years went on, but he usually powered through it like Sabino. However, something else took his life, which lead to the rest of the family fleeing Rosas. That's a gonna,be a big reveal on what happens to him!

At first she was, but Sabino convinced her not become bitter, because it would set a bad example for Asha growing up. Unfortunately it happened anyway, but not because of an influence. So Sakina does the best she can for the family and Hamlet by making clothes for others that need it. Its the closest she can get to her dream.

Both yes and no. 😆 Asha does indeed have a wish and Magnifico does try to take it from Asha as a bargaining chip. However, he's gonna find out that he can't exactly do that. "wink wink"

If it meant her family would be safe, then she begrudgingly would. She would want to find a way to get her own wish back along with everyone else's and now be on a time limit because she could start feeling the symptoms at any given time.

Sakina originally did, but she regretted it after she found out what happened to her husband. She's glad that they ran away before Asha was old enough to give her's away.

Same for Sabino. He had the wish since was a boy and thought the king was finally going to grant it, only to find out years later he had no intention of doing so.

Valentino does have a separate design! He has a similar outfit and horns like the piece of concept art I used, but his face and fur color will be different. Canon!Valentino's face is unsettling...

Flazino's wish gets destroyed, along with a woman who's implied to also know about the Hamlet. Star ends up finding the wishes at one point, and he can feel their joy, hope and dreams. So once those two wishes were crushed, he felt the pain they felt. It reminded him of feeling so alone in space. That's when he fully understands Mags is a monster that must be stopped.

Not really. Its easier for me, lol. The most extra I'm doing is putting "A Wish Worth Making" near the end to close out the movie. And "Knowing What I Know Now" will be used after the traitor is revealed and that same traitor will end up joining the rebellion instead. There MAYBE a villain song added though! (Not TITTIG, I can't save that one)

They're all about nearly year apart from each other, since they looked different ages in the movie. So in order, Simon and Dhalia are 18, Dario and Hal are 17, Safi and Bazeema are 16, and Gabo is 15.

While Star's stand off with Mags is more about their power differences and how they few wishes/humans, Amaya knows how to get into Star's head. Amaya basically tells him he can't be human, ever. She's very good at using her words amps weapons when she doesn't have magic, so her other tactic is to convince Star even if he stays on Earth, he could never be good enough for Asha, always being viewed as something inhuman. (Think of that scene from Shrek 2 with the Fairy Godmother) It REALLY gets to him and starts to question himself of what he even is anymore.

Much like Magnifico, she was self taught! And by combing their magic, they grew in power!

Absolutely, that benefits them in fact. If the wisher loses drive, they lose motive to do anything else, including having any desire to stop them and their plans.

Back when the couple was traveling the world and before they reached Rosas. When they arrived in the country, Amaya found him alone in the forest as a cub and took him. He was a lost animal that needed to be raised and grow into a beautiful yet dangerous animal like he was meant to be.

.....A little bit, when Sabor is actually thanked for finding the true traitor and he gets to eat Mouse!Star, he does start to see he's not all bad.

You're right, its actually a different character, BUT I CAN'T GIVE SPOILERS! I want to, honestly cause its such a big part I'm excited to show! The hint is its another teen, so that leaves 6 other suspects. OR it could be somebody from the Hamlet! 😯

Here's one from Chapter 5:

18. No other star nomad has had a desire to visit Earth. They enjoy it as a tourist attraction and not much else. Star is the first one that we know of that has had the desire to actually GO to Earth. Him and his cousins, lol.

19. He turned 18 a month before the story starts, but he's never really decided on a name. There's just so Mich variety to choose from that he's indecisive.😂

20. Aside from giving the Rosas citizens and Hamlet people some personalities, the cast stays the same. That way it won't feel over crowded.

21. Possibly Flazino x Dhalia. Though it might end up being one-sided. It could change though! 😉

22. YES!!!! I WANT TO SO BADLY!! It will most likely be for when the story us half way through and with Chapter 5 still being written, we're only 1/3 in. But I already have ideas for one! 😁

23. I'll make a separate postings for them featuring the rewritten lyrics, instrumental backgrounds and possibly some art! 😉 Each song will help the story along, just like the first three did! The one I'm really trying hard to remake is "Knowing What I Know Now" cause it was the closest to sounding the best.

24. Now that's a secret! 🤐

25. A bit of both! Its basically how I would've written a Disney movie, so its leans towards more rewrite.

Wow, thanks so much for these MANY great questions, @wings-of-sapphire!! Sorry it took me so long, it was a lot to answer this time! I appreciate you writing these out though! 😁 (I'll tag your other channel just in case @signed-sapphire)

[dropthedemiurge]

Yeowoon leaned in and tapped his lips against Myungha who's got better at reading Yeowoon's intention and raised his head just in time to meet him. Sangwon faked a gasp and raised the tone of his voice in accusation, just to mess with them. "How dare you do this in front of me?" Yeowoon pulled back, and Sangwon thought he'd get another one of those cheekily poked-out tongue meant to tease him. Instead, Yeowon kept looking at him – and then leaned forward to kiss Myungha again, this time with a more proper, deeper kiss. But he was not taking his eyes off Sangwon, staring right through him, and a huge heat wave rushed through his entire body. Sangwon made a surprised sound, masking it immediately with a fake puking sound, and turned away – not to hide his flushed face, of course not. It would not be seen under all the bruises covering his cheekbones anyway, as he lied to himself.

My draft is over 10k already, I have no idea what it's gonna be like but I'm surely having fun x)) And idk when I'll start posting in, probably not until I finish it fully (and then edit and rewrite it) so please bear with my random sneak peeks into my Love for Love's Sake OT3 wip :D

I wrote about 8k of angst, and I need to write maybe the same amount more, and then I can have fun scenes as comfort after all the hurt lol

This fic is so damn self-indulgent, I'm sorry for everyone who's waiting for updates of my other fics :')) It consumes me and I hope it'll be good

[halfling-myth-lady]

Welp, I went ahead and made a second chapter of my miraculous rewrite lol.

It doesn’t focus on Juleka, but it does give us some of another plot line in this au.Aka the Nathaniel Marc and Alix plot line.and a bit of Alya too lol

——

Chapter two:spying on a manipulator.

Warning:the story is told in achronological order.technically at the time THIS ficlet would be released it would be around early season 3.

Note:things are really different from canon.i just wanted to say that and also note that my Marc uses they/them.

Nathaniel looked down into the courtyard,being greeted by the faces of many whom he didn’t bother remembering, even if he still did recognize a select few. There was that girl from art class, one of the theatre kids, that boy who cried when Adrien politely declined his date… and them.

Hidden under the stairs was someone called Marc. Nathaniel didn’t know their surname, but he did finally manage to catch a peek at the bluenette after searching for a while.

They seemed to be writing something in a black notebook, occasionally using their bright green eyes to scan in case someone was looking.

Nathaniel weighed his options.

He could either confront Marc now, follow them somewhere else and confront them there, or they could stall for time and learn more about them before confronting them. The third option would probably lead into one of the first two eventually, though.

The first was more direct and would ensure that they couldn’t do anything to him, but then they could still run into the crowd.

The second one was…stalking, sure, but if Nathaniel could just slip that ring off them…

Along with that, he bet no one outside of his class or immediate family really cared or remembered about his existence(and even that was up for debate) so he doubted Marc did.

Well, stalking it is then.

“Uh…Nate?why are you staring at the stairs?”Nathaniel shot up to see the of none other than Alya Cesaire, the local detective of the class.

“Ah-uh-Alya-!I uh…”

She looked in the direction Nathaniel was staring at a while ago.

“Are you…spying on Marc?”Alya questioned.

“Oh-well, erm, maybe?”Nathaniel was never really in the best standing with Alya, the whole “having a crush on her best friend” and “no, you may not interview me for your investigations I literally just got out of being in a crusty old man’s control” things never really seemed to stand well with her.

She sighed.

“What do you know about them?”she asked.

“Erm, I know their name..?”

The detective rolled her eyes.

“I’m surprised you don’t know much about them, considering they’re Marinette’s cousin and all.” Alya said”though you tend to be a bit of a loner so it doesn’t surprise me you don’t know much about this kind of stuff”

“And you do?”

“It’s my thing, Nathaniel”

“Anyways, they’ve also never been akumatized, which is quite a feat considering the schools track record with akumas”she added”they tend to keep to themselves a lot, so maybe that’s why”

So they’re a loner…huh…

“You should try talking to them, might help you make some friends”Alya said”maybe even take your attention away from Marinette and onto another red wearing bluenette, other than maybe Ladybug, too”

Nathaniel blushed.

“Sh-shut up and go away, I don’t need you help”

“Even if I did give you vital info?”she pried.

“Just leave”

“Hm, as you say, your majesty”

She finally went away as Nathaniel glanced at the manipulator once again.

He might not know much about this person, but what happened yesterday… Nathaniel wanted to-no, Nathaniel was going to learn exactly what happened.

…even if it meant stalking someone.

[mariequitecontrary]

When will we get the extended version of MultiversePals.com?

Oh wow thanks so much for reaching out to ask! 🥰

I’ll use this chance to give a short answer and a long answer.

Short Answer: Probably next year.

Long Answer: MultiversePenPals.com/ExtendedEdition (whoof what a long title lol) is currently in my personal writing schedule to keep my fic priorities in check~ how fast I get through the schedule completely depends on life obviously. The biggest variable being if the words are wording and the creativity is creating. I’m currently also teaching myself to draw! Which is eating into my writing time smh.

So like yeah! Here is what you can expect to see from me in the foreseeable future:

Marie’s Fic Schedule*

Two Monthly Prompt One Shots

I’ve got two short (about 1k words) one shots I’m determined to do! August’s (I’m late I know) is a fantasy AU Slipstream/Windblade while October’s is a ghostly Starscream/Soundwave (maybe…)

Femmes are Fatal Ch 3

The last chapter in my rewrite of the first few scenes of the 2007 TF Movie, focusing on Mikaela. This is halfway written and is already so long T.T I’m struggling on where to stop it since this rewrite is not meant to be the whole movie…

Revenge of the Warrior Goddess Ch 3

The last chapter in my rewrite of the first few scenes of Revenge of the Fallen, also focusing on Mikaela.

(Both of the above fics may be picked back up to have the full movies rewritten AFTER the current set of fic goals is completed)

A Spark’s Rhythm

The first few chapters need to be rewritten to be more compelling/flow better now that I’ve improved my writing skills a bit.

Ch 18 is halfway written and I’ve got a personal deadline for this chapter that may be bumping it up the list if I don’t get the words wording…

After ch 18, I’d like to get myself back on the roll of writing regularly for this fic in addition to any other fic projects.

MultiversePenPals.com/ExtendedEdition

Once the above goals are completed, then we’re back on the MultiversePenPals! My plan is to reread it, take notes with some fresh eyes, compare it to my old notes…then getting started on it :)

The Extended Edition will be in chapters, but I won’t be posting any of it until it is COMPLETELY written. I don’t want to have it out there as a wip when the original is already completed and everyone knows half of the story already 😅

2025 Big Bang

At the same time as the MultiversePenPals Extended Edition, I will be getting a head start on the 2025 Big Bang! It’s gonna be another big one so I want to work ahead. Currently deciding between an epic One Thousand and One Nights origin story with Thundercracker/Predaking or a cozy Sunny/Sides Stardew Valley AU…

Secret Solenoid Fic

Technically this fic is not last in the schedule. It will be gotten done on time to be given to my…uh…target lol. But I don’t know what the prompt is yet and how much I intend to write for it so I don’t know where it needs to be on the schedule right now :3

*Schedule is subject to be put aside whenever random plot bunnies possess me and whatever else distracts this ADHD filled brain of mine.

[halfagone]

Hi Halfa! You don't have to answer this, I'm honestly just a little curious and a little baffled -- but I realized you write a lot. It's very impressive! How do you organize and keep track of all of it? Especially with long fics like lex luthor's ascent. It seems a little daunting ngl. Is there a specific program you use that works for you in being organized?

Love everything you write btw! I'm always a little excited to find an AO3 update from you!

Hello, Anony!! And yes, I write... a lot. It's become a problem. Not that I'm really complaining right now either. XD There are a couple things I use to keep track of organizing everything. I do use the Google Suite, so I'm talking Drive, Sheets, and Docs mainly. I hate Google's autocorrect system but I'll write across three different devices at times so the Drive helps a lot with that. Plus it's free if you have an account so *shrugs*.

I use spreadsheets when I can. Mainly for word counts and WIP ideas. We are at 147 WIPs and counting, btw, woohoo! But as for my actual works, I say folders is probably the most useful thing for me. I color-code all my folders to make it easier for me to know which is which at a glance. I would also say- never be afraid to make a folder within a folder. It's some of the only ways to keep my drafts separated and out of the way.

I tend to save all my drafts unless I really do not like it, but multiple classes taught me that the file convention can make or break you.

This is probably the best example I have:

These are the drafts I saved from my attempts at the Lex Luthor's Ascent chapter 88, "The Prodigal Son: Return to Metropolis". As you can see I finally got it right on the eighth try, which was the final draft and the one that is currently published.

"p.d." stands for "partial draft", which means I didn't rewrite the whole chapter, just a significant portion of it. "v" is of course "version", and it makes it easier to figure out what is the newest, most updated draft. That's mainly because sometimes I will go through more than one draft in a day, so I can't really use the time stamps.

(Bonus points to whoever can guess the closest to how many drafts I have saved lol)

I don't... outline things. Which is probably a thing I should do, but most of my fic ideas stay in the brain box where they are cycled through periodically like a washing machine. XD

Spreadsheets, again, are a very helpful tool and I cannot recommend them enough. I absolutely loathed them in middle school but by the time I graduated high school they helped me so much, especially to keep track of my madness. lol I know a bunch of tricks for spreadsheets if you ever need them. ;)

At first it can be overwhelming, especially because I did not... keep track of them early enough which meant I had to catch up quickly. But if you put a little time into it at the beginning it's so much easier to just insert a row later on and then you're done for the day.

And also, thank you so much!! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my fics!! I am also so happy to hear they bring you a little bit of excitement too! I know I'm always so excited to hear other people enjoy my fics as well. <3 Have a happy new year!

[aquanova99]

Remember your Roots

Felix Volturi x Reader

Final Part

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A/N: I’m back!! I am trying to put everything that’s sitting in my drafts but I’ve been visiting family so it took a while. I will be rewriting many of my original fics I wrote as I feel like I have somewhat improved lol, I hope you guys enjoy the final installment and sorry a million times over for taking so long!

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Felix’s POV

You almost rushed past her. You were shocked at careless speed at which she walked. As if she didn’t just completely jeopardize her well being. Perhaps she had merely hidden any confidence in what she and Sulpicia created, but the amount of pressure in that room… how dare she risk her life like that?

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I can.” She shrugs as she continues walking past you. Intentionally bumping into you and effectively surprising you. Your reflexes are faster, however and you find yourself latching onto her arm.

“Let. Go.”

“No. What if what you just drank kills you? What if it—”

“So what if it does? I lose nothing. At worst… Then Sulpicia is back to the drawing board. Its not any of your concern.”

“Of course it is! How can you say that? Do you have any idea what would happen to me—if you—god!” You try to take a deep breath and calm down. As quiet as you both may intend to be, everyone’s damned hearing would ensure a less than private conversation. “I was wrong…happy? You win. I’m worried.”

She shakes your hand off of her arm and you immediately look for any cracks or indication that you were too harsh. You start to mumble out an apology but she quickly interrupts, “Stop. Just—stop. I need to focus. This needs to work.”

“I—”

“We can worry about each other after this works…” She quickly retires to her quarters and closes the door. You stand frozen for several minutes trying to decipher exactly what she meant. Not exactly acceptance towards any sort of amicability, but no outright refusal. You stew over the words ‘we.’ Was that intentional? Could this have possibly been the first step in mending what you broke. You feel your body more or less shoved towards your own chambers, probably Demetri’s doing.

You spent the next few days waiting for some kind of adverse effect on Y/n. You kept silent. At this point you knew everyone had known how… protective you were over the covens newest addition. It was something you had tried to avoid. In the long run, you knew Marcus had probably long since told the other leaders how much you cared for her. The only problem is now, there was no denying it. It was leverage the volturi had never had over you. The closest relationship they had to be able to take advantage of was Demetri and even then…he wouldn’t keep you here. You were now stuck. An eternal life was meaningless without some sort of purpose, why else would he concern himself with the coven he had called home? They certainly hadn’t ben able to control him as a newborn, even now the strength had never faded. He was an asset he knew that much, the only way to stop him would be Jane or Alec, he would win against Dmetri and Caius if it came to it. Not that he wanted it to come to that. Not that he even wanted to leave. It was just something that had simply never crossed his mind. At least not before Y/n. If she left…would he follow her? Would she want him to?

“Felix.” Demetri interrupted his train of thought, “Seems we have a visitor.”

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Y/Ns POV

You wondered if your abilities would actually help at all. Apparently the entire volturi was needed for this. Everyone assuming a battle would be incoming, you seemed to be the only one wary of the informant. Why would she rat out her closest friends and allies? While it was no secret some of you may not make it, most everyone seemed confident this would be over quickly. You hated it. If this coven had gifts equaling your own, this arrogance could be your downfall. Everyone was gathered after the meeting with the leaders. Only Santiago was missing since he was more or less guarding Irina. In case she ran off, I guess. Not like her family wasn’t aware of the news at this point. The only one who seemed worried was, well…Felix.

You supposed there was a chance he wasn’t. You stood back behind everyone half listening to Demetri and Heidi. Demetri was debriefing on who all would be there, and what we knew about them. Felix was the only one sat, you knew everyone would keep their distance. He could be prepping himself, but as much as you wanted to speak to him you couldn’t. Partly out of spite, and partly because you were never sure where you stood with him. He seemed furious at you when you tried the tonic, genuine concern was etched over his face. The worst part is had been right. Sulpicia had grown bored of the same companions and quickly explained how everyone fit into the coven. You had come to know it was a warning, how Chelsea could force almost anyone to stay with their coven. How she could find what made some vulnerable to persuasion and others break apart over the most miniscule things. Sulpicia’s stories made you wary. How they could find who you cared about most and hurt them in ways unimaginable to you. You understood why Felix had warned you not to worry about him, not even for his own protection but yours. He would hate himself if anything happened to you because of his own account, so you did what you could do. You stayed away. As much as you could from everyone really, though as much as it would hurt only one person could break you.

To be fair, its not like you had anywhere else to go. You still had no memory of your life, and unfortunately for you, any snippets you may have had started fading more and more the longer you were stuck like this. Its partly why you were careless, the isolating was getting to you. You knew it was crazy the second Felix grabbed you, but admitting you were wrong was not your forte. Still, you didn’t want to go into this fight without clearing the air…

Fuck it.

You sat down next to him, you weren’t even sure he noticed. He seemed concentrated, every part of him seemed tense. His hands were crossed in front of him, his usual stance at trials. You tried to be as quiet as possible and avoid anyone trying to listen in on your conversation, which no doubt they would be.

“Felix.”

He stiffened, blinking at the sound of your voice cutting through the air. “…yes?”

“Will you walk with me?”

He nods and stands up, he offers his arm out to you. Out of habit, I think. He starts to apologize but you link your arm through hi before he can say anything and walk out towards the gardens. The snow is barely coating the courtyard, its beautiful. It’s a shame you have to worry about the law at a time like this. You should have worked on the garden earlier. The original plants you managed to grow were wilting, you try to not think about that as a sign and will yourself to grow plants that seem to thrive in the winter: snowdrops, camelias, hollies and anything else you can think of soon decorate the garden. You wish there were brighter flowers that could bloom but you enjoy some of the pinks that shine through.

“They’re lovely.” Felix says softly.

“Thank you. And thank you for coming with me.” I’ve missed this, you say to yourself.

“Is everything all right?”

“How are you feeling? With this fight?”

“Fine.”

“Are you really going to keep lying to me?” You didn’t mean to snap but if you were going to clear the air he needed to work with you. He looks surprised…and hurt and you quickly decide you would rather not bring up another argument. “Just forget about it—”

“No. I apologize. Its habit. I forget you always seem to see through it. Please.” He gestures to a bench and you sit. Still irritated at this whole situation.

“You can say you don’t want to talk about it. I would rather hear that honestly.”

“Yes. Except that isn’t exactly true, I just…I think somethings off.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Cullens and the Denalis…their whole thing is they don’t want to fight. Why would they protect an immortal child. And why would all of those other covens risk what their safety? I don’t like it…”

“Do you think they have an advantage?”

“They’d have to.”

“Okay. Why do I feel like that’s not everything?”

Felix sighs, “If they do have an advantage. With their gifts…I’ll be useless.”

The thought of them targeting him, him being at a disadvantage. You feel your stomach turn to lead. And then guilt gnaws at your heart for waiting for so long to have a conversation,

“Abilities only go so far. You are not useless.”

“If they have someone like Jane I will be. I wouldn’t be able to protect…anyone.” He becomes still again, its like you can see him thinking of every possible way he could fail. You hesitate and try to tell yourself to stop, but your body moves on its own accord. Your hand intertwines with his and you sit. Sit and wait. He returns your gesture but before you can say anything you hear the footsteps approaching you. Your heads snap towards the leaders and you know they cannot be bringing any good news. You notice you both aren’t moving, you know he’s anticipating something too.

“Y/n. We’ve been looking for you.” Caius starts

“I don’t imagine this is a good visit.” You feel Felix eyes glare at you.

“We have informed the others, they are all to think of the most absurd things possible. Songs, stories, rumors, anything. What we haven’t told them my dear is why. We need you to be ready to use your gifts, before any of the others realize whats happening.” Aro starts

“That’s why you’ve kept me in hiding? Whats the distance?”

“How close do you need?” Caius asks

“Depends, if I can dig my hands into the dirt its faster. I can visualize where everything needs to grow better. It would be obvious but with so many vampires I may be able to hide somewhere further. I would just need a clear visual.”

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Felixs POV

Away? As in away from the guard? What if they had someone waiting on the outskirts, you’d have no way of knowing. What if she needed you? You open your mouth to protest but Marcus jumps in.

“Theres too many variables. We cannot send anyone to scout out the area without calling attention to ourselves, it would give it away.”

“I’ll practice to see how quick I can grow them if I focus. But you realize I wont be able to think about anything else?” You want to shush her, warn her to be careful of who shes dealing with. You know you are likely on thin ice after staring down the leaders instead of standing up and acknowledging their presence. But she remains unphased.

“Its why we are hoping to distract them.” Aro smiles

“You don’t want them to think about random things. Assign them a person. And have them focus on how they plan on taking them down. The mind reader needs to think I’m the least of their worries. Have them think of the worst they can do, the stronger ones should focus on the mind reader, his mate, and child. So long as they know their actual target it should be distracting enough to at least confuse him.”

Caius grins, “I like the way you think, child.”

You didn’t. If they realized what was happening she would be the first one they were after. Which means you are already going against their plan, all you are going to be able to think about is her safety. You refuse to let go of her hand.

“Well, then I should start practicing. I trust you will tell the rest of the guard the plan?”

“What they need to know.” Caius answers.

She only nods and the leaders leave without so much of a glance in your direction. You could hardly form a singular thought. Your mind racing to try and find a favorable outcome. Would the leaders force you to hang back, far enough away you wouldn’t be able to run to her if something happened?

“So. This will be fun.” She starts. You know shes trying to calm you down but you can still hardly form an articulate sentence. Not now. “I’ll be fine, Felix. We both will be.”

She squeezes your hand, signaling its time for her to practice. To leave you. “Lets go out to the fields. You can practice the distance there.”

“Okay.”

You practice until its time for you to depart. Y/n was a fast learner. And she had settled several of your worries. Not all, but several… well at least enough to know she could in fact handle herself. You both silently seem to agree to start over. And, frankly, you couldn’t be happier. The flight over was silent, but you refused to leave her side. Even if you didn’t say anything you needed to know she was still there. You would both make it out of this somehow. You weren’t one to back out of a fight, but if it was really hopeless would you run? Make sure Y/n got out of there? You had told her once you would ensure she made it out… and you always were a man of your word.

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Y/n’s POV

Felix was right. They were hiding an advantage. As the blond vampire swore everyone was a witness, the wolves descended. If these were children of the moon, they had been somehow subdued, maybe ready to take out the threat that almost eradicated their kind. You can hear several people step back. Demetri usual smirk is dead serious. Caius looks more furious than ever. And Felix…while his expression is neutral you cant help but notice his hand graze the scar that had still painfully reminded him of his past. You fight the urge to go over to him and grab his hand. You would not show any weaknesses here. You take a deep breath and refocus on the new hurdles your coven may have to jump. You decide you’re glad Felix chose against the tonic.

The application had proved to be difficult, Sulpicia had several people hold Caius down as she reopened some wounds before lathering your creation on it. You would never forget his screams as his skin broke like porcelain. You couldn’t imagine the pain. After cursing you and Sulpicia everyone had noticed how much happier he seemed. Heidi told you shed over heard how it felt as if the pain was slowly diminishing day by day until it was gone. It worked.,,but you knew it was something Felix would rather live with. And truthfully, no one would have volunteered to hold him down anyway. Now, the pain surely radiating from his arm would hopefully garner him to be more careful. Maybe even hesitant, it was better than him willing to sacrifice himself in order to fulfill his purpose or whatever.

You are snapped back to attention as Alec grabs Jane. Her gift, always useful in negotiations was ineffective. Meaning they had a shield. Not good. However, shields you’ve learned, are always either mental or physical. You notice the vampire with almost golden eyes, different from the the others up front. You can only assume that’s Bella. You focus as hard as you can sprouting the tiniest blade of grass through the snow. One of the wolf creatures twitched but disregarded it. Perfect. You force a vine to begin growing behind you, it wraps around your ankle and continues growing. You feel it climb up your back and then wraps around your arm. When it reaches your fingertips you know every dormant root in this field. The leaders had been right. Your gift would be useful. You are not going to let anyone go through what Felix endured, what Caius endured. No one would make it across this field. Not without permission. You would make sure of that. Now you wait.

And luckily you don’t have to wait long. Two vampires give a statement and then leave hurriedly. Your eyes scan every huddle. Separating themselves into their respective covens was a stupid mistake. You see a man and woman clutching a small girl. The irish. Demetri had told you how defensive they had been. One. You look at the wolves, one of them almost eager to start an actual fight. Two. You notice the big black one, he had growled at them when they first joined the clearing. Three. You wait a little longer. The child whose heartbeat becomes clearer with every step they take closer makes you pause. Irina had been so sure… but your new coven came first. After they head back to their group you Caius has run out of patience. You and Felix lock eyes for a moment as Irinas life has come to an end. Then you hear the screams. And Edward makes the mistake of letting you know who has the ability to blind them. Four. As you see the blonde ones mate fall to the floor with her you decide she will be your last target. Five.

You choose a combination of Foxglove, hemlock, and devils breath for the first three. For four and five you decide to go with a mixture of nightshade, poppies, and peyote. The Irish are the first to back away. The scream is unlike anything you’ve ever heard of.

“Maggie? Maggie!!” Her eyes have no hatred in them, only fear. Fear of losing her child due to her own decisions. Fear of losing what she holds most dear. Welcome to the club, you think.

“Wait! NO!” Edward growls.

The two wolves fall, one twitching and the other immobile. The bigger one in the front begins snapping some kind of order but the two wolves are picked up and their pack disperses.

Then the screaming comes from four and five. You’ve heard the hallucinations you can give off are no joke. They really should have picked their battles more wisely. You are almost surprised how detached you seem from all of this. Except for the little one in the Irish coven, everyone chose to be here. Had they wished to be witnesses a phone call surely would have sufficed. The blond tries to step forward again.

“Aro, please. Lets settle this calmly.”

“Oh I have no idea what you old friend, I gave no orders for this to happen.” His voice is laced with sarcasm, although technically he wasn’t lying. He told you to be watchful, I doubt even he expected this. “Siobhan, Liam please bring Maggie, we can assure you she will be fine.”

The man hesitates, but Siobhan only shakes her head at Carlisle before rushing over. You look at Aro and he waves a finger in a circle. The vine retracts and both hands extend out to your sides, no use hiding it now. The field is surrounded by flowers of different colors, but it is winter so you have to focus to ensure the cold doesn’t kill them off. Sulpicia holds her arm out towards the irish coven and they quickly follow. Desperate to help their loved one, not caring if it meant certain death for themselves, you decide to like them. You can apologize later. Aro asks Bella to return with them to Volterra, just to ensure her and the child wont be an issue. She looks around panicked, the remaining Egyptian covens have fled, the Denali are trying to fix their blonde friend without getting too close. Senna is almost cradling Zafrina as she tries to clear her head. There isn’t much of an escape route now.

“B-but…”

“Bella darling, lets go.”

“Oh no, Edward. Just the two.” The brown wolf seemed ready to lunge, and you decide to knock him out for safe measure. Bella grabs the child but her eyes are looking for any way to escape. Not a likely option without risking her child’s fate. You make it a point to have a vine rise up to the childs height. Harmless, but I doubt she would know. As she takes the tentative steps forward you can feel the flowers wilting. You focus on their growth, just a little longer…just until the leaders come to a conclusion… You can barely hear Carlisle and Aro speak. Something about this never intending for everything to turn out like this. You can hear the screaming from the other blonde who was still furious at the inability to regain control of her mind. Carlilse explains something about the giant creatures who had stood beside them. Aro and Caius agreed to leave them alone unless they cause anymore trouble. Apparently everyone was done with this stupid meeting.

 You try not to buckle when Aro finally gives you the signal.  Your vision is spotty and you feel like you could collapse any moment.

“You did well, Y/n.” Aro smiles, “Felix.”

He immediately appears next to you, “Yes?”

“You two take up the rear, just in case. Make sure Bella is following.”

“Of course. We’ll have a good time.” He smiles at Bella and slightly bows his head. You try and stifle the chuckle that escapes you. He certainly knew how to play his role. Athenadora comes and scoops Renesme from Bella.

Before she can protest Athenadora smiles, “Sorry, cant have you running off though.” She turns to the child and continues, “Come on, sweetheart, you’ll see your mommy soon I promise.”

As this is happening Felix gets closer offering his arm in case you need it. You shake your head and squeeze his hand before setting it back down at his side. You try and focus on the woman joining you on your flight. She looks back at her coven, as if debating whether she would rather be with her mate or her child. You follow her eyes, noticing how the bigger vampire in their coven and Carlisle continue to hold him back. They try and get him to calm down but you can see him unraveling. Bella takes a step forward him and he starts screaming for her. Felix steps in front of her arms crossed and shakes his head. She takes the same step back.

“Bella! No! Let go of me! BELLA!” He’s growling when suddenly everyone stops and looks towards the other vampire suddenly appearing at the edge of the clearing. She’s a small thing with another taller man behind her. She looks like if she could cry she would. Wherever she was she’s too late. Bella seems to realize some kind of betrayal because her face turns to stone, she hisses under her breath and turns around towards her child. You and Felix only look at each other for a second before deciding to make sure she goes towards the rest of the coven. They could deal with her later. You can hear the commotion behind you confusion, anger, demands to know their location. The diet must slow the others down because your on Bella almost immediately, she doesn’t try to escape, in fact she is silent the entire way to Volterra. Only rubbing the back of her child in a meek effort to comfort her. Sulpicia gave the Irish coven a “cure” for their daughter. She will probably wake in less than a day, you made sure she was the least affected.

Felix sits next to a window, he leans over as close as he can to your ear and says “You did well.”

After that its silence. He only stares out the window, pensive. You would think he was mad at you if his hands weren’t firmly intertwined with your own. You can only hope this is only because of the many vampires around. You hate when he lets go upon descent.

Everyone disperses when you land. The leaders decide to speak to Bella immediately, they instruct Heidi to get her a room read, for Demetri and Santiago to stand guard during their meeting, and dismiss everyone else. Thank God. You’re tired of playing the bad guy today. You start to make your way to your own room when Felix reaches out for your hand and gestures towards the direction of the sanctuary you once found. You agree and head over there. While mostly empty now it is still remains eerily peaceful. Like your presence alone would ruin its beauty, like any disturbance could turn this paradise into a waking nightmare. Seemed to match the energy after today.

You barely had time to ask Felix what the matter was before he enveloped you. “I’m glad you’re safe,” he whispers.

You don’t hesitate to return the affection you finally allow yourself to admit you were craving. When he does pull back he just as quickly scans your face before his lips lock onto yours. You return that too, trying to convince yourself you hadn’t thought about doing this for months. His lips were soft against yours and warm oddly enough. You push against him, not wanting this moment to end. He allows it, only breaking it once.

 “I’ve missed you…so much.” He groans in between breaths

“Me too…” Because you have. It was ridiculous to think that you would simply not worry about one another, you two were linked together somehow. The only thing staying away from each other did is cause unnecessary amounts of pain. You needed to control your pride, handle your ego. Apparently you both did, but at least Felix had come to the realization sooner. You pull away, the very least you could do is tell him you were wrong.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out like that.”

“Don’t. I was the one who started all of this, you were still acclimating and I only made things worse.”

You chuckle, “Yeah our communication needed some work.”

“I think you’re right. But we do have time to get better.”

“That’s true.” You smile at him

“Y/n… you should know uhm—I think I should tell you. Theres a reason we feel so… drawn to eachother. I think theres a chance—”

You shut him up by kissing him again, “I know. Heidi told me all about it. She says its up to us to reject it or not.”

He sighs deeply, “I’m going to kill her.”

You cant help but to laugh, “You thought she’d be able to keep it a secret? I Figured you would tell me when you were ready…or you rejecte—”

Its his turn to shut you up, “I just want to make sure you’re okay. That…we’re okay now?”

You nod. “Of course.”

And you mean it. Any lost memories you mourned seemed unimportant when you could focus on making new ones. Especially now that the two of you were back on speaking terms. The two of you find a spot and sit in silence for hours. Just soaking in eachothers company.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“What if we didn’t go back?”

You freeze, “Felix. That’s your home, your family.”

“I know. But you would be happy there? Truly?”

“Is that what your actually worried about?”

“ Partly. Today was a lot. You shouldn’t have to expend yourself like that, and you’ve frankly painted a large target on yourself. What if…what if we don’t get so lucky next time. I’m supposed to protect the leaders. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Felix, if Aro finds out…no. You’ll do your job, okay?”

“If it were only that simple…” You both snap towards Caius’s voice, Felix threw you behind him a low growl coming from his throat. “Oh honestly, Felix. You think Marcus wouldn’t tell us about the bond between you two? Not that it wasn’t glaringly obvious.”

Felix didn’t move. The thought of anything happening to him because of you makes you want to hyperventilate. They wouldn’t get rid of you, you knew that but to force him to stay or hurt him to convince you broke you.

“Both of you relax,” he continued, “Nothing is going to happen to either of you. I know all about how strong this mate bond is, obviously. You two will be called upon, often I assume. But we have enough with Jane and Alec to get the information we need, and if we get Bella to cooperate…”

“I don’t want to leave. I think everyone could maybe rotate some time off? You guys have been working seemingly nonstop. You can still call upon us of course, but… this coven is where we both belong. I’m not worried about any other fights. I think I’ve proven I can be useful.”

“Yes, that is true. You shouldn’t worry about protecting your mate Felix. We would all do it if it came to that. I do, however, suggest not trying to just avoid your duties?”

You have to nudge Felix to get him to relax, this was not a conversation he was expecting to go well. You can see him analyzing everything, thinking of every possible outcome. “I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Bella mentioned something about the mind reader so wait a few days and you can go.” He turns to head back to the castle, “and lets not have anyone know about this conversation. I have a reputation to upkeep.”

“Of course,” You answer and grab Felix’s hand. Still, Felix doesn’t relax until he’s sure Caius is gone, “You can breathe now, Felix.”

“That was too easy. Why would they do that?”

“You really think that after years of being with them they wouldn’t be even a little sympathetic towards you? I told you before. You’re more important to this coven than you realize. I’m sure they’ve noticed more than you think.”

“Hm.” He still seems pensive… sad

“Lets go home, we can decide where we want to go after the mission is truly done. It’ll be an adventure.”

“Okay.” You take your time, worried about what other news the youngest vampire had brought them and excited for the new life they had in front of them. But your first and biggest obstacle might just be having to explain to Heidi and Demetri exactly what just happened over the last couple days. It was going to be a long night.

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Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @artaxerxesthegreat @aunt-pipie @imtoanonymousforyou @jelly-fishy-babie @lacychick @quarthly @venusdelaroix @volturiwolf @xcastawayherosx

[queenofzan]

Arevin family background

So changing some of the things about the set-up for Jaz and Sasha to meet necessarily meant changing some things about the backstory I stole from the Vorkosigan Saga. One of the decisions I made early on was that I didn't want Helen (Elena, if you couldn't guess) to be a romantic interest for Sasha at all, and to have her own things going on. I also thought, if Sasha and Helen are several years older and Sasha has gone through the entire Academy before getting drummed out, it really would be silly for Sergeant Arevin to come with them. So he's actually at home, fretting about Baby Girl's First Big Bodyguard Job Solo, safe and sound.

And I mean, since I'm not starting with Delara and Emil's courtship, and Arevin is just like. Taken for granted in the household in order to keep some plot elements equivalent (which simply makes rewriting the civil war bits of The Warrior's Apprentice easier for me, lol) there was no reason I needed to keep some of the more problematic elements of his/Helen's backstory the same.

So rather than the product of rape, Helen is simply adopted. This is not to say Sergeant Yuri Arevin didn't rape people, but he didn't do it without Boris Kasharik pushing him into it and setting it up. (I also think it is just wildly unrealistic that an adult soldier capable of getting pregnant would not be using birth control. Like I guess based on the pregnancy fetish thing they could have removed implants or whatever, but like. Come on. That's harder to cover up.)

Anyway, rather than the product of rape that Arevin feels ~responsible~ for, Helen was simply born at the same brothel Arevin was born at, to a woman Arevin had definitely hired in the past, and who didn't make it through Helen's birth or infancy. The Petrovs were at the time already pregnant, and Arevin was specifically looking for something to help ground him and maybe deal with his trauma a little bit without, like, going to therapy (which on Kavagor at this time would have been...difficult to find). A baby needed adoption from what is essentially his family, and he would have the example of the two people he trusted the most in the world to follow as far as parenting went, and if he had to take care of a child he wouldn't be able to space out and lose time so much. So he adopts Helen without bothering to check if she is biologically related to him, because it's plausible and the brothel can't really afford to have that young a child hanging around.

When Helen is a child, people are like "IDK if she's related to you man she's pretty good-looking and you're. not." but as she hits puberty and becomes A Big Girl it seems more likely she is, in fact, Arevin's daughter. He literally never bothers to check, because he figures she's his daughter either way, and neither does Helen, for the same reason. What's the alternative, finding out she has a biological father who visited a brothel ten months before she was born and almost certainly was not expecting a baby to result from it? What good does that do her? If she was very lucky, this would be a man who wasn't shitty, but like. The odds of just gaining some controlling adult Kavagoran who feels entitled to boss her around are too high.

Arevin is also either less of a traditionalist butthead than Bothari, or Helen is more stubborn than Elena. This is probably helped by the fact that Helen does get Large, so when she's like "yeah I'm gonna be an armsman and bodyguard like my papa" he doesn't go "Aww sweetie, girls don't do that," he goes. Well let's see if you like it.

This is also a practical decision, since by this point she and Sasha are as close as siblings but she is much more physically capable than he is, and having someone his age to ride herd on him that is both willing and able to like. Pick him up and carry him away from bad decisions sounds great. That also leaves Sergeant Arevin more free to do his duties for Emil and the household, rather than babysitting the kids all the time.

So by the time Helen and Sasha meet Jaz on the Stolas, Helen is Sasha's full-time bodyguard and sworn in as a man-at-arms. They had to fight with the tailor to get her official livery, but she has it. They got around how annoyed the Baron was by having her sworn to Sasha directly, so she isn't a House armsman, she's Sasha's personal guard.

Helen does take liberties and talk to Sasha in a manner her father would never address Emil or Delara--or tbh even Sasha, once he's an adult--but she also has a strong handle on Work Mode and being properly formal when it's necessary. Which does sometimes surprise people when they don't know she and Sasha grew up together and they overhear them when they're off-duty, and Helen is like "You little shit, you promised to warn me," because like. Yeah that's her boss and her liege lord but he is also effectively her little brother.

Yuri Arevin is very much still inclined to cling to traditional rules, because they at least provide a framework through which to understand the world, but raising a GNC daughter alongside Obviously Bisexual Sasha (with his co-parents being Openly Bisexual Nobleman and Pansexual Gnillesian Scientist) means that he's less aggressively tightly wound up about some things. He is honestly much more upset that Helen comes home with a deserter boyfriend than that Sasha brought home Jaz, especially since Jaz quickly proves ze can fight and Delara loves zem. Helen has to be like "HEY. I didn't ask you. Fuck off." while Dimitri is like. Trying not to piss his pants.

(Jaz and Sasha both vouching for Dimitri probably helps also. Arevin never really Gets Dimitri, or why Helen likes him, but she has her own hang-ups from growing up a gender non-conforming girl on a very patriarchal planet that Arevin just. Very much does not have.) (Helen is like, I love my non-threatening queer engineer boyfriend who thinks my specific brand of gender is sexy and could never take me in a fight or want to, whereas Yuri Arevin Needs a partner he can trust to defend themselves against him if necessary and could never in a million years date someone who could not at least make him work for it in a sparring match.)

Helen and Yuri both do still fall into the themes I'm evidently working with in the Kavagoran project; Helen has a non-normative body and a non-normative gender presentation, despite being cis and straight-passing enough for Kavagor to pretend, while Yuri has a physically admirable body but a face and background that is undesirable, not to mention his extremely problematic sexual proclivities, both of which have led to some estrangement from his self. Helen, like Sasha, is extremely attractive and desirable...to people not from her home planet. Yuri has only ever been desirable for his usefulness, which unfortunately Emil and Delara don't do a whole lot to correct even though that is a misapprehension on his part, and he's just kind of written himself off as Intrinsically Bad when he's not playing a well-defined role.

Helen did manage to have a much less fraught relationship with her sexuality than her father, so when she can finally believe Dimitri actually likes the things about her that have historically made her undesirable to Kavagoran men, she's like, "Oh hell yes," and doesn't take much further convincing, whereas her father is in his sixties before he starts actually dealing with his shit.

And Helen at first tries to keep her distance from Maria, mostly because like, yeah her papa needs friends and apparently a girlfriend, but Helen doesn't want another entitled Kavagoran older than her trying to force her into a square hole. Maria is also pretty abrasive, but her obvious disinterest in having a maternal relationship with Helen makes it easier for them to get along. By the time Yuri realizes he wants to marry Maria, Helen is ready to take a bullet for her, because actually this crusty bitch of a trans woman has a lot in common with her and really sincerely loves her papa. Helen ends up yelling at the baroness and chasing her out of the fitting room while they're shopping for Maria's wedding dress, because the things this kind of butch older common trans woman needs in a wedding dress are not the kind of things a younger, more femme baroness needs.

I suspect that Maria bitches some times about how bigger tits would get her misgendered less, and Helen is like YOU'D THINK THAT, WOULDN'T YOU but noooo you wear trousers because that way you have fucking pockets and can ride a horse in a pinch and go into low-g environments without flashing everyone and no one even notices your tits, they're like Oh hello sir what can I do for you. And then they're swapping stories about times their goddamn haircuts apparently tricked people about their genders.

[alisonfelixwrites]

hi i just wanted to say that i just read lucky penny on wattpad and i'm... trying to figure out how to say this. i'm not well. i'm kind of. fuck. words. struggle. ugh. i'm in a really dark spot in my life. and i stumbled across lucky penny, not knowing what to expect, it's the first thing i've ever read by you. and i just needed to tell you how much it means to me. the amount of times i couldn't fight off the cheek splitting grins, blushes, and giggles that story caused me to have is insane. the most from anything i've ever read. and in a time in my life where i don't wear a drop of makeup anymore because i know that most of my days i'll end up crying it off, smiling and laughing is... not common. i was overwhelmed with so much giddiness when reading it. tiny squeals and hiding under my blanket when overcome with all the joy i felt. and it's such a foreign feeling right now. i know people say things like that a lot - 'giggling and kicking my feet', 'screaming', etc. etc. and its probably lost its impact to think you've made people feel that way... but for me, it's so unusual. it's like a drug to me right now, that kind of joy. and i've never felt it as strongly.

i also didn't expect to find that the relationship penny was in is just like a previous one of mine, and the way you wrote it... only someone who's been through it could write it like you did. and so for that, you have my heartfelt empathy. it's so hard to describe that relationship, and sometimes it still is... to somehow put it into words. it's always seemed intangible when explaining it. but you put words to it. the way you've shown it through different points of view is beautiful and a real talent.

the story is lovely. and there's so much fun with it. the friendship dynamic added such a lovely layer to the story, and was so refreshing to have that comradery so present in the storyline. it makes me yearn for something similar. the sexual exploration. the dialogue. the silly goofy. the playfulness. all of it was just really beautiful and i can't remember the last time i've felt my heart beat out of my chest like that. i can't wait to re-read it again.

i just wanted to say thank you. i saw your notes on it as i continued to read and realized that you' wrote 'd written it during a tough period in your life. so it was an escape for you. it was therapeutic. and that's exactly what it is to me.

hi :'(((((( this HAS TO BE one of the sweetest messages i ever received omfg i don't even know what to say. i'm so glad i could make you smile for a little bit and that lucky penny was sooo positive for you! i actually wrote it in a very similar point in my life, when I was very sick and bedbound. i wrote 70 chapters in like 6 weeks lol, I was just writing non stop and they meant so much to me and did so much for me. it's crazy to me how they can do so much for others too. ngl I was thinking of lucky penny lately and reread some of it and sooo many things made me cringe and i seriously considered reworking it/ rewriting it to fit my current writing style more - but the story is so charming even with the mistakes i made when writing it. i wrote it so quickly and it all came so naturally that i didn't think twice of the stuff i wrote, so it feel so pure to me :)) i'm so sorry you went through such a horrifying relationship and lost so much of yourself in it. i promise it gets sooooo much better!!!!!! thank you for this, i wanna give you the biggest hug, literally omg you made me tear up MWAHHHH <3333

[badlydrawnnexoknights]

HI I NEED TO KNOW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING YOU'RE WILLING TO SHARE ABOUT NIMONA NEXO KNIGHTS AU

(nimona is my favorite comic and has been for YEARS and I always loved nexo knights SO THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER)

OH HI!!! well its not actually a fleshed out concept, really. when i said i could get so elaborate i meant i could get elaborate about why i made the choices i did?

for example, i originally came up with the concept of a nimona au in the first place mostly because the kid designs for ambrosius and ballister in the comic looked exactly like how i drew lance and clay on the regular - so when i tried to imagine a roleswap between clay and jestro (sort of like my knightmare lance au...) i couldnt imagine anything but nimona so. instead of actually trying to do a straightforward corrupt clay au i just drew lance and clay as ambrosius and ballister. of course at the time i wasnt entirely sure who would be nimona so i just drew my oc lettie as nimona simply because she'd been primarily characterized as an overzealous inconvenience to clay at that point LOL.

anyways in hindsight within the context of ambrosius and ballisters backstory in the comic specifically, i GUESS it would have made more sense as being clay and jestro since the four were/are orphans and all but UH... since i prefer those two (clay and jestro that is) as adoptive brothers it wasn't gonna happen with me! and it's kind of a moot point anyways because movie!ambrosius's backstory ended up being more like lance's backstory anyways (descendant of a famous figure who was partially responsible for the founding of their kingdom to the point they're inevitably expected to become a knight because of their lineage) ... in fact aside from no longer using a lance to... lol... disarm ballister, ambrosius in general is more like lance in the movie than he used to be in the comic. anyways i guess with everything going on with fletcher* i'd have to say he'd probably be nimona in the au instead of my oc. you know.

(* because of some of my plans on what to do with him in a rewrite. but if we're sticking to canon specifically then my justification for fletcher-nimona would be the fact he's presented as much younger than he'd contextually have to be, the undeniable association with magic and power that is feared, and the inevitable pain being an orphan with no one to rely on until a certain point would bring. also as a fun fact back when fletcher was first introduced i briefly toyed with the idea of lance adopting fletcher, which is funny in the context of nd stevenson's au where ambrosius and ballister were just nimona's gay dads in a completely normal contemporary setting...)

[rimetin]

For the ask meme: 3, 23, 37, 41, 45

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

angst, haha. hmm. well i've been told my style is very visual? (which is funny to me bc i have aphantasia so like... i don't do mental images lol.) i love alliteration and repetition - i think a lot of my published works have some form of repetition especially. i'm sure i have more, but thats the stuff off the top of my head.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

coffee shop au!!! i love a good coffee shop au and i read and talk abt it all the time but i don't think i've ever written one?? gosh i need to remedy that. also chatfic.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

Then This is the Way it's Meant to Be, post S3 juno steel fic. the alien pov of the Ruby was super fun to write, and i've always had a soft spot for rewriting canon scenes as character studies or from different povs (most of my first fics were exactly that!)

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

everything written by avoidingavoidance if i'm honest haha. hard to recall and pick any singular fic, but i quickly scoured my bookmarks (i dont bookmark nearly enough shit smh) and These Broken-Hearted Beats by Grimmseye jumped out at me - the non-linearity!! the slowly unfolding mystery and horror! the nods to and utilization of canon elements! and how they say so much with so little without rambling on fucking forever. love it.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

oh gosh thats a hard one. well, uh, English first of all lmao? fanfic has been with me since i started learning english (not my mother tongue) and yeah i've been fluent for years and years now but still. other than that, hm. probably pacing? I still get wayy purple and drag on sometimes but. plus, i've learned to do more than single-scene one-shots!

thank you for the ask! ♥ meme me?